A famous middle aged man is revealed as a sex pest, a cheat, a bully, or someone who has lied about his sexuality. He is influential, admired, affluent, seemingly he has everything. But… underneath all this success there may be something less pleasant going on. He is taking risks which could expose him. Any passing … Read the rest >>
Category: Blog
Dear New Coach
Congratulations, you’ve finished your training course, your portfolio has been approved, you’re ready to go! But are you?
I’ve seen many hopefuls falter at this stage, despite the financial and psychological investment they have made in their future. Here are 10 proven ideas about how to achieve success:
1) Accept that you are still at … Read the rest >>
Inside the mind of the bully
Over my decades as a coach I have worked with many clients accused of bullying. It’s never pretty. The accused person may have been subjected to a formal investigation and may have lost their job: most likely they are still aflame with rage at the ‘unfairness’ of it all.
Most of the attention over the … Read the rest >>
Channelling The Queen
The Queen arrived at my door. She stood there, a sturdy figure, wearing an elegant pale blue coat, a jaunty hat in matching blue with one of her Launer handbags looped over her left wrist. I didn’t invite her in, but I knew what I had to ask. It was this: could she please, please … Read the rest >>
Stepping up to the top job
So you got the job and you’re now Director, or VP, or Chief Officer for – whatever. Congratulations!
I’m delighted when coaching clients get that promotion. But it’s no surprise when about six months later they reappear in my coaching room.
‘This is harder than I thought.’
‘There’s something I’m not getting right but what … Read the rest >>
The vulnerable coach
It’s a first supervision session for this coach and I’m exploring how her early life shaped her adult beliefs and behaviour. She looks dubious. ‘I had a perfectly happy childhood’, she says, hesitating a little. ‘Except we did have to tiptoe around my Dad sometimes’
‘Tell me about that.’
‘He was in a senior role … Read the rest >>
Exposing the impostor
My coaching client, B, is looking at the floor. He is six months into a promotion, struggling to grip the astonishing slipperiness of the new skills the job needs.
‘I suppose’, he says slowly, ‘I’m a bit of a fraud. I think I must suffer from Impostor Syndrome’.
Ah, Impostor Syndrome, an increasingly familiar presence … Read the rest >>
‘But does coaching work?’
My questioner had had more than a few glasses of Christmas cheer and maybe that was why he was eyeing me so beadily. ‘Coaching is just the new snake oil isn’t it? What’s the proof that it works?’
A party was not the occasion for a serious discussion but his question was perfectly legitimate. As … Read the rest >>
ARE WE ALL TRAUMATIZED?
I watched the recent film featuring the astounding Dr Gabor Maté. It’s called The Wisdom of Trauma (www.thewisdomoftrauma.com). It shows vividly how much dysfunctional human behaviour is explained by early childhood trauma. You don’t have to look very far, for instance, into any prison population to see how clearly this is true or to see … Read the rest >>
HELPFUL HINTS AFTER SHOULDER INJURY OR TREATMENT
It’s amazing how much you need a working shoulder on your dominant side in order to do everyday tasks. If you or someone close to you has a shoulder injury or is getting a shoulder replacement, here are my top tips, garnered through my own experience after a shoulder replacement.
Top tip: if you haven’t … Read the rest >>
Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends and Colleagues
David Bradford and Carole Robin, Penguin Life, 2021
It’s amazing how often the trail of what is good and lasting in social psychology leads back to the great Kurt Lewin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Lewin.) If you want proof of why leadership style influences performance, look to his classic action research with boys’ groups in the 1940s, … Read the rest >>
More honesty about coaching, please!
When the first lockdown was really biting in 2020, I was part of a coaches’ Zoom get-together. The overarching question was how the pandemic was affecting our income. Some coaches spoke despairingly about the way their training and facilitation work had vanished overnight. Many described the disappearance of most of their clients. Yet there were … Read the rest >>