I watched the recent film featuring the astounding Dr Gabor Maté. It’s called The Wisdom of Trauma (www.thewisdomoftrauma.com). It shows vividly how much dysfunctional human behaviour is explained by early childhood trauma. You don’t have to look very far, for instance, into any prison population to see how clearly this is true or to see … Read the rest >>
Category: Blog
HELPFUL HINTS AFTER SHOULDER INJURY OR TREATMENT
It’s amazing how much you need a working shoulder on your dominant side in order to do everyday tasks. If you or someone close to you has a shoulder injury or is getting a shoulder replacement, here are my top tips, garnered through my own experience after a shoulder replacement.
Top tip: if you haven’t … Read the rest >>
Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends and Colleagues
David Bradford and Carole Robin, Penguin Life, 2021
It’s amazing how often the trail of what is good and lasting in social psychology leads back to the great Kurt Lewin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Lewin.) If you want proof of why leadership style influences performance, look to his classic action research with boys’ groups in the 1940s, … Read the rest >>
More honesty about coaching, please!
When the first lockdown was really biting in 2020, I was part of a coaches’ Zoom get-together. The overarching question was how the pandemic was affecting our income. Some coaches spoke despairingly about the way their training and facilitation work had vanished overnight. Many described the disappearance of most of their clients. Yet there were … Read the rest >>
When is it ok to talk about yourself in coaching?
A thoughtful participant on our recent coach training course at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama raised this issue.
‘It feels as if sometimes it might be useful to say to a client that something similar has happened to me. But is it?’ In ordinary life we do create rapport with friends and … Read the rest >>
Why every coach needs to be trauma-aware
When your coaching is informed by learning about trauma, you will be able to elevate its value many times over.
The very word ‘trauma’ can strike coaches with horror. Isn’t this exactly the kind of territory that we are repeatedly warned to leave to highly trained therapists?
Well, yes and no.
First, let’s be clear … Read the rest >>
Six ways a ‘chemistry’ coaching conversation can go wrong
In a world where the supply of coaches exceeds the demand, the so-called ‘chemistry’ conversation is ever more important. Some organizations may even insist that their potential coachees meet or interview at least two coaches. But it’s so easy for this conversation to take a wrong turn. In my work as a supervisor I hear … Read the rest >>
How to deal with unwanted advice about cancer
Every now and then clients ask me for help on how to deal with intrusive comments about their health, or the health of a close family member. Typically the scenario is a very recent diagnosis of cancer. This is what works for people with cancer or other unpleasant conditions which invite unwanted sympathy and advice:… Read the rest >>
That tricky question of ‘polish’ in career coaching
The BBC programme How to break into the elite https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000772n/how-to-break-into-the-elite asks good questions about why it is that so many of the most senior jobs still go to people from fee-paying schools. In one of the most telling interviews, Dr Louise Ashley, an expert in how social exclusion happens, explains that many employers prefer candidates … Read the rest >>
Being merciful about Boris
So, it’s Boris as Prime Minister.
This is despite sustained campaigns of vilification by so many people, including the Guardian, which ran piece after piece about his alleged sins and Channel 4 which did a whole programme on the same themes. I cannot remember any other prime ministerial candidate who has been subjected to this … Read the rest >>
Following the coaching rule book: yes or no?
My heart sinks.
Some providers of coaching qualifications are getting snippy about the rules. Now, for your recorded coach-client conversation to get accredited, you have to ask particular questions in a particular way, regardless, it seems of whether this is what the client needs.
I imagine the scene:
The coach is nervous. She is recording … Read the rest >>
Coaching going nowhere? Could hidden trauma be the problem?
Here are some common coaching scenarios from my own practice as a supervisor in the last year, all client details disguised:
Client A Is considering leaving his job abruptly with no alternative on the horizon. At their first session Client A describes a pattern of repeated sudden exits, sometimes triggered by him, sometimes by the … Read the rest >>