I never watched a single episode of Friends so the name Matthew Perry meant nothing to me, but I was intrigued by the sound of the documentary* about his life. He had boasted of earning a million dollars an episode from that long running series, he was achingly famous; seemingly he had everything a human … Read the rest >>
Category: Blog
What if the client abuses or harms the coach?
When I raise this topic, there is shock. Listeners typically don’t hear it. They think I have momentarily confused myself, surely I must be asking the familiar question of the coach potentially harming the client!
No, I mean it: the client can harm the coach.
In my book Are You Listening (Penguin 2022) I give … Read the rest >>
Do you have to be nice like Dolly if you’re famous?
I am staring in dismay at a one line email. ‘Sorry, it’s a no’ it says.
This is the reply to my carefully composed email to a a sort of semi famous person, for a piece of professional help. We are in parallel fields and know several of the same people. My dismay is not … Read the rest >>
How could he be so stupid?
But can we spare a mite of compassion for the former Prince Andrew?
The press is crowing over the downfall of the man formerly known as Prince Andrew, now plain Mr Mountbatten-Windsor. They are delighting in his continuing humiliation, stripped of his titles, his home, his income, the support of his brother, and most important … Read the rest >>
The puzzle of middle class thieves
We don’t have any authentic roots in Norfolk but after discovering it so many years ago, its magic draws us back. My younger son and I enjoy our adventures as holiday landlords. We have two houses in the companion villages of Hemsby and Winterton- on-Sea. We snatch some time for ourselves when there is a … Read the rest >>
Ten ways to avoid banishment by your adult children
It’s a long time ago but here’s what happened. My Dad, then in his eighties, is staring at my two boys. He’s barked a question at them and they are looking back helplessly. They stutter out a few words.
‘Speak up! Don’t mumble!’
I intervene with some reply which kind-of-answers his question.
Later that day … Read the rest >>
Coaches, please! Let’s junk the jargon!
We coaches are eager to be seen as a profession, even though we fail so many of the criteria, such as barriers to entry, a long apprenticeship and statutory controls. Jargon can be one unwelcome feature of professionalism and it’s creeping up on us in coaching.
Therapy is a parallel here where its vocabulary has … Read the rest >>
Why do they get it so wrong?
Over the least few weeks we have seen two examples. Influential people wreck their reputations through inappropriate speaking, despite having easy access to PR advisers, speech writers, agents and lawyers: Gregg Wallace, TV host; Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury. Then, back in the past, Prince Andrew, Paula Vennells, Rebekah Vardy, Kevin Spacey – and if … Read the rest >>
The man-child and his problems
I don’t know Gregg Wallace, the Masterchef presenter currently in trouble because of his alleged inappropriate comments and behaviour. But I worked in TV myself for many years and as a coach I have heard countless women complain about this same objectionable behaviour in their male colleagues.
There have been a few attempts by unnamed … Read the rest >>
Why CEOs wont step aside
It’s the end of my second session with this CEO as his coach. He runs a FTSE listed company. We have looked at the general health of his organization, his team and, just glancingly, at his personal life. Innocently I ask, ‘And what about you? What’s your own next move?’
Silence. He looks at the … Read the rest >>
The disappointed coach: ‘why is it so hard?’
This coach has paid good money for her training. Now it is six months on from that triumphant moment when she learnt that she had got her qualification. She knew it would take time to build a thriving practice but it’s still not happening. Disappointment dominates her thinking. She has just asked me to be … Read the rest >>
Scandal, mistakes, guilt… what can coaching offer?
Watching the BBC Panorama documentary, The Post Office Scandal, I can never remember being moved to such high levels of anger and tears. I understand this wish to punish: someone must be held accountable! The hounds of vengeance are particularly out for Paula Vennells, the former chief executive of the Post Office. She took £4.5m … Read the rest >>